Am I  a joke to this Ibadan Micra drivers? Just before I asked this question, I had to double-check with myself. This is the story of an innocent girl and a Micra driver, so brace yourself. It was not funny this day o because I was so embarrassed. I mean, after I’ve dressed up so decently and feeling myself, a Micra driver had the guts to insult me. I see it as an insult. E pain me, kai.

Story story

So on this fateful day, I left my house to say hello to a friend. It was a planned visit so it was not like I was jobless. I left my room wearing a chiffon shirt and a pair of jeans with slippers and sunshades (because it was sunny). My dressing was casual so why did that have to happen.

Ideally, I try as much as possible not to enter all those Micra because they are often too tight, sometimes smelly and the drivers can insult for Africa. But I had to take it this day because I didn’t know where exactly I was going to and taking a bike was a bad idea. They will behead me with a hiked price (even though the cost of transportation in Ibadan could be very affordable).  My friend also suggested that I take Micra instead. If I had known, I would have taken bike jejely.

My journey

That’s how I strolled to the junction after walking past all these young Ibadan boys that try to tease people. If only they knew I was already immune, awo boys in OAU already taught me lessons. You could tell that I was minding my business. After waiting for a while, I finally got a cab going my way.  I stopped the cab, told him where I was going and I was surprised at how much he called the fare. It was way lesser than I had expected. I kept my surprise because I was not ready to be scammed.

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So I entered at the front with a small boy because that was the only space left. It was not too uncomfortable because the boy was young and he was neat. I didn’t know what was coming. If only somebody told me.

It started like this…

After moving for a bit, the cabman started with, I like your shades o aunty (if you are familiar with Ibadan, please try to read this in their voice). I didn’t even say anything because it one of those things. He continued again, I like your shades o. I mean, you said it the first time and I heard you. The problem started when this man said it the third time. I wish it ended there o.

We kept on moving and this man asked me again, where are you going? In my head I was like, I freaking told you before I entered this cab. I was even scared he was not going my way. Until he said you want to go and see them abi. Lmao. Yea its a joke but news flash, only my friends get to crack that joke with me. I didn’t even flinch because I was not ready to start any conversation that will lead to abuse.

I can take care of you, lmao

Then he went ahead to say, you know that I can take care of you. Mogbe! Emi! Me of all people. I was weak, embarrassed, and disturbed. I looked at the man and could not help but laugh. But I still kept quiet,  I didn’t say anything o. The journey continued and I just hoped the man will receive sense. My people this man did not. As we went on, people started getting down until it was just me and the boy. I was lowkey praying that I won’t have to be alone in the cab with that man. I had heard cases of people that were kidnapped by those Micra drivers. No lies, I was scared.

The boy got down

My fear came to life as this boy got down just a few junctions to mine. I knew that man was going to move mad so I was prepared. I was already sitting at the back at this point when the boy got down. That was how this man said I should come and sit beside him at the front that he wants to be looking at my face. What’s on my face that he wants to be looking at? As you already guessed, I didn’t answer. That’s how he continued o, I swear I wish I could write everything in Yoruba. Just try to read it in Yoruba or imagine a cab driver saying these things.

“Baby I like you and I want to be taking care of you. You are very fine o. Don’t think because I’m driving a cab I don’t have money o. I will spoil you”.

It was as if I should cry

I was so weak that I could cry. Emi ma ni! This man was now telling me all this rubbish. I just shook my head and faced the front. Next thing, he said, don’t mind all these small boys that are deceiving you o. I will satisfy you with money and with the real thing. See at this point I could not hold my peace. I had already tried. Mo ti try mhen.

Knowing I was close to my bus stop, that’s how I started o. The first question was, am I a joke to you? What do you take me for? For my mind, English would make me look like what? Baba did not understand o but I guess he understood that I was already pissed from the tone of my voice. So he started, what is wrong with you sef? I want to take care of you but you are showing yourself. Ashewo, you are Kuku going to work. Make sure they pay you well o.

At this point…

At this point if I had talked, I would have beaten the man or maybe he would have beaten me. So I let him get to my bus stop. As soon as we got there, my voice went to the highest. Ahh, I abused this man, in Yoruba of course. When I was satisfied, I now started asking myself questions. Why did this man think he could talk to me like that? Am I a joke to him? Or is my shirt revealing? I was not even wearing makeup. After several doublechecking with myself, I concluded that it was the man that had a problem not me. O ma dun mi o (I was so pained).

See ehn, Ibadan Micra drivers will make you lose your home training. I’m not even joking. There and then, I promised myself that it would never happen again. I was determined to never take Micra again just to avoid Ibadan Micra drivers. But then who am I deceiving? It’s just like saying you won’t take danfo in Lagos.

Have you had a similar experience with Ibadan Micra drivers? Share with me in the comment section, I can’t be the only one, please.

What would you have done if you were me? And please describe that man in one sentence.

Also, don’t forget to scroll down to the love icon to like this post and share it with your friends.

With love,

Opeyemi Omidiji

Read Also: A Typical Day In My Life – Lockdown Update

10 Responses

  1. Loool,babe,it’s even paining me on your behalf,like what the heck,some drivers are nuisance mehn,wish I could tell my IFE OSUN STATE story😂

  2. I remembered one day like that, I was sitting in front, people dropped at the back.. So the man started talking, not funny though.. I always press my phone just one and off and Baba laughed with his hand on my lap, I was like, shey ko si with the way I flinged his hand.. Omo Hausa yii ki lo shele… I just told him I’m not going again.. He was like e ma binu… Almost reaching a police check point.. I told him I will shout o… He complied cos he didn’t want police interference… I dropped without paying and took another cab… Truly they can be annoying

  3. Even the bikemen are also stupid, I’ve had a similar situation that involved the passerbyes because man had already created a scene. You acted wise jare, when silence could no longer do it

  4. “Baby I like you and I want to be taking care of you. You are very fine o. Don’t think because I’m driving a cab I don’t have money o. I will spoil you”. When I started this part to yoruba ehnn… 🤣🤣

    I salute you abeg, you try nor be small. I don’t think my patience would last this long if i was in your shoes

  5. Lolzzz, I can’t stop laughing but those guys can frustrate humans of the earth, they will confidently insult you and send you home, and sometimes there are good ones among them. I met one that I lost my phone in his car when I visited Ibadan as an undergraduate then, I called my phone and he picked it, told me where to come collect it, I even offered to tip him for his kind gesture, but he refused to take it. Not all of them are bad but the good ones are not up to 10%. Lol

  6. …lolz, my contribution to this is not a popular one.

    First of, for that man to have tried that shit with you, he’s has been doing it for years and most likely some ladies would have fallen in that line…

    He thought probably you would join his league. “But no baba she’s different”

    Thank you for not disappointing us.

  7. Reading in Yoruba… baby, o fine gan o.. oloun.. Emi fe fe e ni… je Kin ma toju e… mo like e gan. Je kin ma jese e…
    Malo ro pe tori Mo je driver oh… owo wa.. maa ba e je… ma spoil e gan…🤧🤧🤧

  8. Lmao…. I laughed throughout… I can’t hold it.
    I’m sorry. Lol.. i shouldn’t be laughing at what is paining you. Those people are hella crazy… I get to experience this a lot not with Ibadan micra of course. With taxi drivers… bike men… market people:.: orisirisi … Nigerians are just crazy people that just want to have fun st the expense of other people’s emotions.

  9. Lol.. I laughed so hard while reading this. I think every lady has had an experience like this, it’s usually not funny when it’s happening to me but reading someone else’s experience makes me realize all those experiences are good for a laugh.

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