The question, what are you doing presently or what do you intend to do has driven people into believing that they have to have everything figured out per time. We are often overwhelmed by the idea of having it all planned and when it seems like we don’t have it figured out, we feel like failures. Well news flash, it’s okay not to have it all figured out right now. While we are busy trying so hard, our lives are moving so fast.

Maybe the elders didn’t help too. Whoever made us believe that we could only be doctors, lawyers, engineers, nurses, and stuff when we were young honestly did not try. Almost all of us would have wanted to be one out of those professions while growing up but look at us now. There was a certain expectation that we need to pick a career path and stick with it if we ever want to make enough money to raise a family. We then grow to find our various interests but we dare not pursue them because we’ll disappoint them.

My story

Growing up, I wanted to be a medical doctor. Not because I was in love with medicine but because they made me see so many prospects in becoming a medical doctor. That was the beginning of my confusion. My strength could not carry medicine so I opted for computer science but ended up studying demography and social statistics but now I’m a blogger. I’m not even all that I want to be yet. You can imagine the pressure I must have been through just to get to where I am.

When next they ask you, so what are you doing with your life, tell them that you are figuring it out one step at a time. A step at a time is the right way to do it. There’s so much pressure on us to plan out our entire lives by the time we are 18 that we end up becoming more clueless than ever. No dispute that it has worked for some people, I’m glad. But it’s not for everybody, so if you are like me that’s struggling to figure it out, take a chill pill.

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Change makes it okay to not have it figured out

As we grow up, our interests change and that is totally okay. What you dreamed of having as a kid might not mean so much to you anymore as a 20year old. When you find answers to your questions, your perception change, and its okay. Change is inevitable as we grow older and we need to learn to embrace it. Being an engineer might seem like the best option right now but then in your year 4, you figured you’ll love mass communication more, it’s totally okay. It’s funny how you could have everything planned down to the very minute detail and will end up changing your mind before you are done.

What then should you do?

Know that there’s still time

You are not too old and it’s not too late. You still have time for your dreams as long as you are breathing. You’ve been told that time has passed. Since then you have been living with the regret of what could have or should have been. I feel your pain and I believe there’s still time for you to change your story. There’s still time to change whatever story you were told. The ones that said that you couldn’t do it or if you don’t do this then you can’t be this. This will take some work but it can be done

When I changed my course, I would always feel like time has gone and maybe I won’t meet up. The truth is I’m living the life I always envisaged right now. Don’t believe when they tell you that time has gone.

Ask yourself what you love doing

Against what you were told to become while growing up, what exactly do you love? Here’s the part where you have to be sincere with yourself else you’ll continue to live a life full of frustration.  for some of us, we love writing, some love music while for some, it’s dancing. Search what you really love doing that even if they won’t pay for it, you’ll still keep doing it. when you find that thing, give it a try. Do it the way you can do it because you won’t b perfect at first, you just need to try.

It’s okay if it does not work out

It is okay if it does not work out at first. Try again. It is actually still okay if it does not work out at all. You did not fail, maybe you have just not found that thing yet. Life is about discovery but one thing you should not do is stop. Don’t stop looking for what fulfills you. It might seem like its taking time but it’s worth it.

Appreciate where you are presently

Most times we focus so much on where we want to be that we forget to appreciate where we are at the moment. “By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved-and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses-you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments,” – Jack Canfield

Place your happiness at the fore

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy and gives you a sense of fulfillment.

It’ll make sense at the end. For some its quite easy to make a straight line, follow it, and get to their destinations. While for some of us, we might need to travel in zigzag lines before we get there. Maybe fail a couple of times. Don’t stop until you find your true happiness. Take your time and figure it out a step at a time.

Do you also agree that it’s okay to not have it all figured out? If you found this post useful, scroll down and double-tap the love button. Also share your experiences with me in the comment section. Know a friend who might need this? share with them too.

With love,

Opeyemi Omidiji

Read Also: Are You Doing Things For The Right Reasons

7 Responses

      1. ”When next they ask you, so what are you doing with your life, tell them that you are figuring it out one step at a time. A step at a time is the right way to do it”…I loved this!
        We are pressured so much to be, and do so many great things.
        I just want to take my life one step at a time, preserve my mental health, focus on my interests and be consistent at them.
        That alone is more than enough <3

  1. The fact that change is constant and cannot be completed predicted made me choose not to have things all planned out anymore. I’ve saved myself the heartache of feeling disappointed when it comes to this aspect of life. So i totally relate and agree with this Ope! IT’S OKAY NOT TO HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT 💪

  2. Omo, I’m still figuring it out is my newest response to anyone who ask what I’m doing with my life… let no one come an stress me mentally…

    The society pressure us too much. But Ope says it’s okay please!

    Thanks Opeyemi. You write so well I feel like I’m actually having a conversation with you in real life. ❤️

  3. Some people will even ask further like it’s their major business to pressurize you “what exactly are u planning right now,are you going to keep figuring it out”.You see if you are not careful, those people will bring you depression, but you have to keep believing in yourself that soon you will get there. And when the faith in yourself is not there, you can hold on to the word that says “when there is life there is still hope, no matter how long. Thanks Ope for this word😘

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