I dealt with feelings of inadequacy. Growing up, I had a set standard of what ‘doing enough’ meant and I was constantly striving to meet up with the standard. I would worry so much over little things that didn’t meet the standard. I would cry and lose sleep because I felt I was lagging. I honestly thought every other person had it figured out except me. I would compare myself to my peers doing the same thing as me. Do you also feel the same way?
The feeling of inadequacy is a feeling you get when you want to do something but it’s simply beyond your means. Maybe you are even doing a thing but it just does not feel right. It feels like you are less worthy than others like you are not enough. I should be more successful, I should be richer, I should have a master’s degree by now, I don’t deserve this thing, I am not good enough for this job, everyone is better than me. If these are some thoughts that won’t get out of your mind, then maybe you feel inadequate. You might have even lost your self-esteem and confidence.
When was the first time you had feelings of inadequacy?
Let me ask you when was the first time you felt this way? Did somebody say something to you? Did you read something somewhere? Did you see your mates doing something you felt you could not do? I’m sure you were not born that way so something must have triggered it. Life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in different ways. For example, a child that failed in school and was scolded by the teacher will feel scared to try again for the fear of scolding. Then he/she fails at it again and then something tells him/her that it’s not achievable. The child then grows up feeling inadequate.
News flash! YOU ARE ENOUGH! You need to change your mindset and live a fulfilled life. It’s not enough that I have told you that you are enough; you have to consciously work at it by yourself. If I can, you can too. Below are a few tips on how you can deal with feelings of inadequacy.
Why do you think you are inadequate?
Before you can get rid of the feeling of inadequacy, you have to find out why exactly you feel you feel that way. Different people feel inadequate for different reasons and understanding the reason behind your own feelings of inadequacy will determine the next step you should take to end those feelings. Be honest with yourself. Dig into your subconscious mind and search out the reasons behind those feelings.
Breathe and let go
Did you know that feelings of inadequacy could be a defense that you have put up against your deeper emotions towards others who had hurt you or things that had broken you? Even when good things happen to you, it does not feel right. You feel like you still have a point to prove and you keep striving so hard.
First things first, let go of that feeling. Stop holding on to the idea of what people think of you or what they want you to be. Easier said but unless you consciously work at letting it go, you won’t rid your mind of these feelings. Remind yourself that the feeling of inadequacy was learned. It’s not inbuilt. Talk to that part of you that feels inadequate and offer compassion. Just the way you will do to a child who just got beaten. You should move on and let go.
Speak positive words to yourself
What you tell yourself every day has the power to determine the quality of your life. Every day when you wake up, stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself, I am enough, I am worthy, I have the capacity to be successful, I deserve every good thing that comes my way, I am good enough for this job. Train your mind with positive words and you’ll become your own greatest source of encouragement.
Self-confidence is the belief that you can handle a certain situation correctly. Self-confidence is you knowing that you don’t lack any of the necessary skills in order to successfully complete a task. Build your self-confidence by eliminating your dependency on the opinion of others or fake standards the society has set. Tell yourself you are good enough, never leave the decision to anybody else to make. Try this! Get a piece of paper and write down your strengths and weaknesses. Keep editing this paper until you are satisfied with what you’ve written. Now keep reading it daily till you are really sure that what you wrote down are your real abilities and skills. Now, whenever someone criticizes you, you can simply check if any of what they say matches your judgment of yourself. If it doesn’t, then just disregard their opinion.
Take your life a step at a time but don’t stop growing
Trust God’s timing for your life. Even though it feels like the world is moving fast, and the trending slogan is ‘time waits for no man’, you don’t have to move with the world. God is never late, He is always right on time. While you wait, don’t stop growing. Keep working diligently, learning. For those times you think you have lost, God will give you back double.
I believe this post has brought peace to a disturbed heart. Much more than reading this post, you have to work it out. May God help you. Please share your opinion with me in the comment section, like and also share with your friends that need this.
When you find yourself comparing your life to another person’s, STOP and remind yourself of how much you worth. You are amazing and I don’t take you for granted.
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