I was going to look for a subtle and simple way to tell you about the things I learned from my ‘how to be a sugar baby’ a.k.a blesee lessons but you just judged me so I’m not going to try to please you. There’s no point trying to sugar-coat this story if all you’ll do is smirk at me like you are the holiest of us all. Remember we all agreed to set goals and smash them, right? So I think you should respect me and my goal and read with an open mind. That’s the only way you’ll enjoy the gist.
The memo that I would make some lifestyle changes while living in Budapest was passed to me and I honestly dreaded it. I didn’t think for the life of me that I would fall in love with some of these things but I’m here to tell you my friend that, things are different. I thought I would only have to do these things because and when I have to, but hey, someone is loving some of these things.
It is statutory to experience culture shocks when you move to a new city or country, and as expected, I looked forward to the new experiences in Budapest. But a part of me low-key thought I had seen it all when I moved to Lagos, Nigeria. That city shook me so much that I was traumatized at some point, so I could have sworn that Lagos is undefeated but I was wrong. While Lagos will continue to lead in some things, Budapest seems to be following closely behind but with some good things though.
My first hiking experience would probably be my last, no jokes. I could swear I would lose my legs, run out of breath and pass out in the woods. Let’s just say the fear of what happens to girls in the woods in movies, and the resolution to not disappoint my African forefathers got me through the torture that I put myself through. It is okay if you are laughing at me already but please before you judge me or maybe say, ‘who sent you’, make sure you read all the sides of the story.
The days that led to me leaving Nigeria were full of anxiety! Not because I was not sure about my decision to leave the country but because my visa was taking too long to come. Everything about the relocation process to this country was just different and for the first time, I also asked myself the same question everyone asks me when I tell them my country of choice.
Just like that, it’s the end of the year already and I’ll be wrong to not write about the lessons 2021 taught me. I personally didn’t envisage the kind of year I had, to think I wanted it to end at some point and now I’m so shocked at how fast it ended. 2021 is the year so many things happened to me in a very short span. Before I could jack up from one, another had hit me, it was crazy. I could literally remember incidents like they were yesterday.
Time really does fly because I’m not sure I can explain how it is September already. It makes sense now what I found during one of my wanderings on Instagram. I found a quote that says time is all that we have and don’t have and I think I understand better. I could swear I had enough time to get things done since I was clear on what I wanted to do this year early enough. But here I am, caught between consoling myself with the ‘there’s still time’ mantra and beating myself up because I know I’ve wasted a lot of time doing nothing.
Putting my life bits into words has become difficult because I’ve been spending more time in my head. It is super comfortable to be up there, I mean, you don’t get to face anything at all. Not your fears, not the reality, not your regrets, neither do you have to face the truth since it’s blank up there. But I’ve spent too much time there that it got boring. So, I decided to revisit the beginning which would pass for the past, and what I saw scared me, in a good way though.
Speaking of wrong choices and consequences, contrary to what I had planned for myself, I was caught in the middle and it felt like life was playing snooker with me. The feeling of wanting to show up but needing to disappear badly became a default feeling. The moment it looked like I was beginning to have some stability, something would hit me and I’ll be back just where I was. These past months, I’m talking about June, July has been a sweet yet rocky one for me but ain’t no dwelling on the rocky. We stay focused.
Hello May, I didn’t think I would have to deal with a lot of emotion this month owing to the fact that my last night in the month of April was with so much excitement. If you have ever thought I have total control of my emotions, here’s a call to wake up because I get served breakfast too. The first day in the month of May left me feeling blank and anxious. Not that I know why but the only way I could escape was to bury myself in work and guess what, I’m very tired.
Have you ever sat down to think about the things you think about? Do you know that what you see is what you saw? Wait, don’t be confused yet. I heard the phrase what you see is what you saw in a movie, Tijuana Jackson: Purpose Over Prison. I immediately began to sing this popular TikTok song, I see, I saw, lol. I didn’t give much thought to the phrase until later that evening. The movie that looked boring from the beginning to my surprise, began to make sense to me.
Hello twenty-six, it is a pleasure meeting you!
It is 11:55 pm and I have decided to write this post since sleep is here playing hide and seek with me. So many emotions are running through my mind. I mean, just like that a baby girl is twenty-six. I guess you can only be young forever by heart. You know what’s funny is that I never looked forward to this day as much as I’ve looked forward to my previous birthdays but still, this is the calmest I’ve been about my birthdays in recent times. I really do not know if it’s a good feeling or could it be old age, lol.
Feels good to finally be saying hello April. I mean, it’s my birth month and for the first time in a short while, I’m excited about my birthday. I’m actually screaming in my head right now, if it was not late yet, I would actually be shouting and dancing, lol. Before I get carried away with excitement, Happy New Month to you. I hope you can perceive it too because April smells like success on this end.
I was on the bus traveling back to Lagos and I could not help but ask myself, are there ways to keep your hope alive? I was tired and frustrated, partly because the bus I took was unnecessarily noisy which reminded me of the fact that I should have boarded a car instead. Another reason is that people think I am rich but I do not even have the money they are talking about. I mean, I took a bus instead of a car because I was on a budget. Yes, there was or should I say there is hope, but it looks like everything is out to just kill the hope.
Khazim Danmola is a Nigerian actor, producer, content creator, and digital filmmaker. He was born May 18, 1987, in Lagos state Nigeria. Khazim is the fourth born of the Danmola family. His father, Mukaram is a retired civil servant, and his mother, Shakirat, a civil servant at the Ministry of Education. Khazim studied Sociology at the University of Lagos where he received a bachelor’s degree. He is also a member of PMP( Project Management Professional).
