Are you a good one too? Ask yourself before you start looking for one.

Hey there. I am excited to write to you again! My Instagram account getting hacked cannot stop our shine. Hehehe

Recently, we’ve all had to stay on social media during this lockdown, maybe longer than we usually do before. You would agree that we have been exposed to different forms of content over time. Standards, rules, and guidelines have been flying around on how different phases of our lives ought to be. Most importantly, a common one that easily gets the attention of youths, I mean, what a perfect relationship ought to be.

I want to assume that you have had to consider what the best man or woman would be. You have modeled the perfect partner in your head at different opportunities. Oh, I want a tall dark handsome guy with plenty of muscles. I’ll go for a thick fair-skinned lady with an hourglass shape. Sounds familiar? I know right! We’ve all been there. I’m not saying physical appearance doesn’t matter but is that all that it could be?

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I guess you are wondering what this is about. Here it is! I am concerned about these standards that we have set based on different influences. In this post, I want to show you where the good men or women are. You would also know if truly you are one. But to have the best of this blogpost, rid your mind of all false standards you already set in your minds. Especially those you have set just to be considered woke!

where are all the good ones?

In whose company are you searching?

Where are you seeking the right partner? This is one question most have continued to run away from. We console ourselves with the ‘you can find love anywhere’ line. Okay, continue! Have you considered if you are searching in the right place? While I will not tell you a particular place is the right place, I will ask, can you find a loyal man or woman in the midst of cheaters? Will you find a loving and patient partner in the midst of abusers? I know some people will still say it is possible. I leave you to your imaginations.

You can convince yourself as much as you like about your partner’s discipline even though s/he keeps the wrong company. But, the truth is you will have a whole lot to worry about sooner or later. While I move to the next point, ask yourself, are you also in the right circle for the right partner to find you?

Are you a complete package?

Now, don’t whine yourself. Be sincere, are you a spec? Do you match up to the standards that you are setting? Lol. You want a complete package but you ain’t. SMH… Put aside societal gender roles for a minute. You want a rich guy or independent babe. Are you also rich or independent? Another angle, you want a handsome guy with six-packs or a lady like an hourglass shape but self-care is the least in the things you do. The good man or woman has been in the gym doing the work, been on the desk getting the job done. Do I need to ask again, if you are doing the work and getting the job done? You keep shouting ‘God when’

The tricky duo: Religion and culture

As much as you hate to read it, many of us run to the tent of religion and culture to find a good man or woman. In your head, the one for you is in the village just because you want a woman that can cook well and follow your instructions. You want a family-oriented partner who has a faithful relationship with God so you go to the church just that one time. Let me burst your bubbles, God cannot be mocked. You cannot be a mango tree and expect that you bring forth orange fruits. You have to choose your hustle lol

As I wrap up may I ask, who sets these standards? You know I have had to ask myself what exactly is special about these qualities we hold in high esteem? Who sets them? Are those people sincere or qualified? While you consider where the good men or women are, you owe yourself just two simple questions. What is a good man or woman to you? Are you a good man or woman? Just as I have continued to ask you throughout this post, you need to answer truthfully. Because finding a good man or woman depends on if you are! Even if you are lucky to find one, you might not be able to keep him/her.

Finally, this not the time to sit on your high horse and claim to be what you are not. Be sincere and own your truth. While you also wait, invest in yourself.

Would you want me to write on some universal truths on the qualities of a good man or woman? Let me know. Share your opinion with me in the comment section. Also, subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on Instagram. Till next time!

With love,

Opeyemi Omidiji.

Read Also: 4 Myths And Truths About Love That You Should Know

Author

I'm Opeyemi Omidiji and I'm a Nigerian GLAM (growth, lifestyle and more) blogger. My blog gives you insights into my thought as I am willing to share with you everything I know about growth, lifestyle and more (fashion, faith, beauty and so much more)

4 Comments

  1. Oluwasegun Akindun Reply

    Good piece this is!
    To add to it, many, having found the physical standards they set in the opposite sex tend to ignore other factors they should consider. They are of the opinion that “I will change whatever I seem not to like about him/her”. A lot of people leverage on this statement regardless of whether both parties share common values and interests. How well can you two agree on a thing? Well, congratulations to you if you were able to change your partner successfully, but remember A and B are both alphabets next to one another but are not written the same way, I mean “what works for you might not work for others”. So properly work on yourself to match what you want from your partner, and be sure to have same values and interests. Only you can work on who you are. Don’t make it another party’s project.

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