I caught myself asking for permission to be happy, and it didn’t feel wrong. You know how life would have dealt you a blow, and it just feels wrong to be happy. I mean, how could you be happy when you just made a life-altering mistake that has brought disappointment to the people who were once proud of you? How could you dare laugh out loud like anything is supposed to be funny to you? How could you dance like there’s any cause for celebration? How could you?
But again, who sets the tune? It should be you, but oftentimes we have given the clock to the world, forgetting that life is for the living, regardless of what comes your way.
And here’s the truth: you don’t need permission to be happy. Not from your family. Not from your boss. Not from society. Not even from your past. Happiness is not something you earn after proving yourself worthy; it is something you choose, again and again, regardless of circumstances.
Why We Feel Like We Need Permission to Be Happy
For many of us, happiness feels conditional. Somewhere along the way, we were taught that joy must be deserved:
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You can laugh after you succeed.
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You can rest after you work yourself to the bone.
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You can celebrate after you’ve made everyone proud.
So when life hits us with mistakes, failures, heartbreaks, or disappointments, we unconsciously lock happiness away, believing we must atone for our shortcomings first. We hold ourselves captive, waiting for someone, a parent, a partner, a boss, or even society, to hand us the key.
But here’s the painful reality: nobody’s coming with that key. The door was never locked in the first place.
The Truth About Happiness
Happiness is not a reward for perfection, it’s a practice. It’s a mindset. It’s a brave choice to say, “Despite everything, I choose joy.”
Think about it: people with “perfect” lives still struggle with sadness, while others in difficult circumstances radiate joy. That tells you everything; you don’t need flawless conditions to be happy. You don’t need everyone’s approval to be happy. And you definitely don’t need permission to be happy!
Tony Robbins once said, “The only thing keeping you from what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” If your story is, “I don’t deserve to be happy right now,” then you’ve built your own invisible prison. The moment you rewrite that story, everything changes.
What Happens When You Stop Waiting for Permission
When you stop waiting for permission to be happy, a few powerful things happen:
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You reclaim your power. You no longer hand your joy over to circumstances or other people’s opinions.
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You become lighter. Guilt loses its grip, and laughter feels easier.
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You attract more good. Happiness opens the door for gratitude, energy, and opportunities.
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You inspire others. People who see you thriving despite your struggles will find courage for their own journeys.
Happiness is contagious, but so is misery. Which one would you rather spread?
What to Do When Happiness Feels Out of Reach
I get it, saying “choose happiness” is easier than living it. Some days, the weight of disappointment or self-doubt can feel crushing. But here are ways to break through when happiness feels like a locked door:
1. Stop Asking for Permission
Notice when you’re silently waiting for someone to “allow” your joy. Are you waiting for approval before you smile? Waiting for validation before you dance? Catch yourself and remind yourself: I don’t need permission to be happy.
2. Redefine What Happiness Means
Happiness doesn’t always mean belly laughs or huge wins. Sometimes it’s as simple as a warm cup of tea, a short walk, or breathing deeply. When you stop tying happiness to big achievements, you start finding it in everyday life.
3. Forgive Yourself for the Past
Many of us stay trapped because we think past mistakes disqualify us from happiness. But guilt is a prison guard, not a teacher. Learn the lesson, then walk free.
4. Let Go of Comparison
Comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel is the fastest way to rob yourself of joy. Remember: happiness is not a competition, it’s personal.
5. Create Daily Joy Rituals
Build small, intentional moments of happiness into your day. Listen to your favorite song, write down things you’re grateful for, or watch something funny. These simple rituals remind you that joy is within reach.
6. Surround Yourself With Light
If the people around you are negative, their voices will drown out your happiness. Spend time with people who radiate joy, hope, and encouragement.
7. Speak It Into Existence
Positive affirmations may sound cliché, but they rewire the mind. Speak joy over yourself: “I deserve happiness. I don’t need permission to be happy. Happiness is my choice.”
Happiness Is Your Birthright
The beautiful thing about happiness is that it was always yours. No one gave it to you, and no one can take it away unless you let them.
Life will still have storms. You’ll still make mistakes. People will still disappoint you. But none of these things holds the authority to revoke your joy.
So the next time you catch yourself holding back a smile, waiting for life to be “perfect” before you let yourself laugh, remind yourself of this: happiness is for the living, and you are alive. That’s reason enough.
You don’t need permission to be happy. Not tomorrow. Not someday. Not “when things get better.” You need it now, and you can choose it now.
So go ahead, laugh, even if your voice shakes. Dance, even if your feet stumble. Smile, even if life feels messy. Happiness isn’t about everything being right; it’s about deciding you’re allowed to be happy even when things are wrong.
Because at the end of the day, joy is not a privilege. Joy is your power!
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With love,
Opeyemi.
