Have you ever experienced disappointment? Would it be weird if I said disappointment is a normal thing to experience as long as there are expectations? If there’s one thing that is certain that a person would experience before death no matter how good life is to the person, I’ll say it’s disappointment. This could happen in several ways and at different phases of a person’s life.
Disappointment hurts! Have you ever had a C in a course you were expecting A from? Or maybe your relationship did not work out? Have you ever fallen out with a friend or your expectations from something were not met? Then you are familiar with the feeling of disappointment.
Let’s liken disappointment to a mirage
On this fateful day, nobody could convince me that I had not seen water on the road. It was a sunny afternoon and though it didn’t make sense that water could be on the road, my eyes saw what she thought she saw. On getting to this point where I had earlier seen water, it was dry. My expectations were not met and I was disappointed.
Disappointment is a feeling of sadness when something falls short of our expectations. In life, when things don’t turn out the way we envisage or want it to, we are confused and disappointed. So much that we begin to doubt ourselves. But disappointment is not totally a bad thing, depending on how properly you deal with it.
How can you deal with disappointment?
Dealing with disappointment constructively can greatly contribute to personal growth. In this post, I’ll be sharing some tips that have helped me to handle disappointments.
1. Accept the feeling
Never try to push away the feeling. Disappointment hurts greatly and that’s okay. Take it all in, let it hurt, cry if need be. Because the feeling goes away quickly and it becomes less painful to think about what happened.
Forming oblivious of feelings of disappointment hurts and stays longer than accepting it. Don’t try to hide it under a big smile.
2. Remind yourself that you are not a failure
You are not a failure or a disappointment just because you made a mistake or your expectations were not met. You are not a disappointment because someone else’s expectations of you were not also met.
Truth is, the situation you are in right now won’t last forever, though it might feel like it. If you keep moving forward rather than staying down, take actions to be better, you and your situation will improve.
3. Take lessons from it
While it is okay to feel the hurt and pain of disappointment, don’t get lost in it. Choose to see it as a life lesson. Try to pick out valuable lessons that’ll help you grow from it. Ask yourself questions like:
- What is this thing teaching me?
- Is there something I could have done differently?
- How can I avoid this disappointment henceforth?
Getting answers to these questions will help you focus on the bright side of life and also grow.
4. Don’t forget that disappointment will happen
As long as you keep aiming higher, and going out of your comfort zone to be better, you will likely experience disappointment. I’m not sure some people have never been disappointed. All these people you look up to have had their fair share of disappointments. It looks like its a prerequisite to growth.
Keep this in mind that as long as you have expectations and keep striving for personal growth, you might be disappointed. This will help you stay strong and handle disappointment easily.
5. Constantly remind yourself of what you have
It is easy to forget the good things happening in one’s life while dealing with disappointment. Rather than fix your mind on the not so good things, be grateful for the good things.
Shift your focus to the things that are working out well in your life. never take the seemingly little things for granted.
Lastly, I’ll like to add that if your expectations are too high, you might need to adjust them to avoid great disappointment. Give yourself time to grow and enjoy the process.
Despite whatever disappointing experiences we may encounter, make sure that it does not keep you down in bitterness and anger. Let’s bear in mind that although disappointment might be inevitable, what we do after or how we deal with it will always remain our choice to make.
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Cheers to crushing our goals this week!