Opeyemi Omidiji

Hello there! If you don’t cherish the platonic friendships that you have or you don’t even have any, keep reading.

I hope you are holding up well as Covid-19 lockdown seems to be coming to an end… I am excited there’s a beam of light at the end of the tunnel already. However, I think it is important to write to you on this subject as we prepare to resume our normal life. If you cherish friendships as I do, or maybe you live a solitary lifestyle, either way, this article will improve the way you view platonic relationships henceforth.

One thing I have discovered over time is our over-reliance on romantic relationships for all our social needs. We expect our partner to be all; the business advisor, health care manager, fashion specialist, etc. Let me quickly add so that we remain on the same page. While it is important that your partner is “your all” and “superhuman,” the place of platonic relationship is also important. I want to assume you know the place of setting boundaries, being trustworthy, and respecting your romantic relationship while keeping platonic relationships.

JOVI, the unbreakable friendship

jovi

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While at the university, I met 3 friends that made my days in school amazing. For short, we named our clique JOVI (Jide, Opeyemi, Vanessa, Islamiyat). I met these guys when I was at my lowest. It was that time I crossed to another department and everything seemed to be against me. Even though I can’t remember how it all started, these guys helped me jump back on my feet. As at the time I met them, my GP was 2.5 ish I guess, but with constant encouragement, group readings, and so much more, I finished strong with a second class, upper-division. Did you think we read just books? We created memories that will last us forever, not that we’ve even stopped.

To think JOVI is not the only platonic friendship I cherish. I’m blessed with so many friends that have helped me rise in various situations

Words might not explain how I cherish these people but it should explain to you the importance of having the right friends and cherishing them. That settled, let me share a few reasons while you should take platonic friendships seriously.

Friends aid easing of life tensions

Whether you keep same-sex or opposite-sex friends, they are very important in ensuring you live a stress-free life. Having someone, you can trust and be safe with, go out with, lend a helping hand in different situations is a major reason you should consider and value platonic friendships. The memories we build with friends aid our mental health. With good friends, you are open to creating more beautiful memories capable of improving your mental health and longevity. Friends ensure that we do not go through the inevitable low times of life alone. Those low times come and truly what you would need wouldn’t be family by blood ties or romantic relationships alone.

Friends are potential boosters

Keeping platonic friends contribute greatly to our growth as humans from different perspectives. If you keep good friends, you have automatically won for yourself personal cheerleaders, hype-men, and fans. The icing on this cake is you will not be sending out mandatory paychecks as a reward for their services. With friends, you are effortlessly subscribed to having your self-esteem boosted per time. Friends see your worth and support you all the way to success.

Friends are the best critic

Maybe I will be a little bit biased here. But truly, if love is blind in the figurative sense, you will mostly have some truth colored because your spouse at times wouldn’t say it as it is in order not to hurt you. Friends, I believe offer more positive criticism even in the truest form. As you journey in life, you definitely need to do some checks and balancing. Good friends are our most valuable assets. They wouldn’t mince words in pointing out your wrongs when they notice.

With friends, you see the world better

If you are passionate about living the best of your life, keeping friends will contribute a great deal to that. Friends help us to dispel prejudices and stereotypes we have built which colors our world views. The way the universe is designed, you only know as much as the friends and connections you build. If you have all your friends from a particular tribe for instance, most likely you will know little or nothing about millions of other tribes in your immediate environment. Being open and nurturing valuable friendships helps greatly in the journey to becoming a global citizen.

Though this list might not be exhaustive, it presents the major importance of having and nurturing platonic relationships asides romantic relationships. Funnily, some love birds would say that their partners should also fit into all of this, all the best to you. However, trust me that you would appreciate stepping out of your romantic relationship to nurture valuable friends. If they are truly valuable, you can be assured that they will even contribute to the wellness of your romantic relationship.

The next set of questions this article raises are; where do we find good friends, how do we recognize them and how do we nurture them? Do you have answers or opinions to share about these questions, I’ll be waiting for your views in the comment section.

With love,

Opeyemi Omidiji.

Read Also: A Typical Day In My Life – Lockdown Update

7 Responses

  1. This is sure inspiring, the truth is with friendship you get the same energy you serve. Many friendship these days die because of they don’t share a symbiotic relationship, they are only interested in what they get from you but do not want to give back to you. I’m sure this article helps someone out there on building a platonic relationship. Well-done dear, this is great.

  2. My view on this matter :
    1. Purposefully building platonic friendships is less stressful than directly pursuing single men. Nonetheless, your expanded network of friends will automatically put you in contact with friends of friends, some of whom will be interested in you as more than a friend.

    2. With an expanding list of friends and interesting people in your life, your judgment and patience will improve when selecting a dating partner. When your social life is full, you feel less lonely, so you are more likely to take your time and carefully choose a dating partner.

    3. Friendships are worth a lot regardless of if you get anything else out of them.

    4. Most of the time, dating someone you met online or at a grocery store is just fine. However, there are advantages to dating people that you met through a network of friends who can screen people for you. They can not only protect you from bad experiences, but also give you the inside scoop on a guy you might be interested in.

    5. Did you know that social psychology research has shown that we like someone more after we do that person a favor? It’s true, and one of the favors friends most enjoy is playing matchmaker to set you up. As you build your relationship network, give your friends permission to spread the word when you are single and looking.

    6. When you build your network of friendships with men, you feel more natural and relaxed hanging out with men. That translates to feeling more natural and relaxed on a first date with a guy that you actually want to make a great impression on.

    7. In the process of building your friendship network, you will accidentally run into people you are actually interested in as a dating prospect rather than simply as a friend. Because you were just looking for friendship when you introduced yourself, the pressure was off for both you and him. It’s a simple shift in mindset that takes some of the pressure out of dating.

    8. There are practical benefits to having a large network of friends and acquaintances beyond those associated with your goal of meeting a keeper. For example, when you’re trying to move, a group of sixteen friends makes it feel like quick work.

  3. You have said it all.
    Keep up the good work.
    May God direct our paths friends that will build us up. And may God as well make us better friends to people that consider us friends.

    Well done dear Opeyemi.

  4. Words on marble!….
    True friendship is not about any reason, the reason becomes a thought. Be a solution -vise versa (directly or indirectly) .

    Here’s to those (JOVI…) who inspires and doesn’t know it. On Emotional Intelligence and Empathy…You guys earn a perfect score!

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