Let’s talk about the myths and truths about love!
Until recently I could beat my chest that I knew all love is. Okay, maybe I actually do. But with my new understanding, I’ll say my understanding of what love is, was twisted. I am certain just like me, there is a particular way you feel about a person and you can bet it is nothing but love. Funnily you tell yourself, this is more than just love, this is true love! Lol! Before I burst your bubbles and lead you into a new perspective on love, let me share my friend’s first “love” experience.
A few years ago, my friend, Kunle told me how he fell in love with a beautiful fair girl while we were in senior secondary school. Kunle had gone for lunch when he had the first sight of Tayo. As a smart guy, he asked to be friends first. He decided not to ask for her number until the end of that week. Familiar stunt? Lol you have been there too!
Finally, at the end of that week, Kunle was ready to speak with Tayo. Immediately the closing bell rang, Kunle narrated how ready he was. Uniform looking still very neat, he shined his shoe. He told me he even had his face washed. Smh! My friend stood strategically towards the school gate to wait for Tayo. Let me spare you the wack lines he used in order to get her number. But he got it! It was the days of MTN xtracool.
You know what?
Excitedly Kunle waited till midnight to call Tayo. According to him, the vibe was so nice, he asked her to be his girlfriend before the end of their first call. What were you expecting? Tayo said yes of course. Kunle was a brilliant, handsome guy that represented the school at competitions. This was how their love which lasted for close to three years started. They went on dates, read together, got into all sexual acts you can imagine. Shocker alert, it ended in premium tears!
Like Kunle, you must have had that tingling feeling or attraction that spurred you into getting intimate and attached to a lady. Or more like Tayo, you have had a fantasy about what your man should be like. It is with a grateful heart you would jump at him when the universe eventually brings him to you.
While it is okay to be physically attracted to who you love and have “standards” on what you want, many of these prerequisites are based on the myths about love and not what love truly is. Let me quickly add here, I will be giving myths and truths about love according to God’s plan concerning romantic love. Trust me, every other means of loving out of God’s ordained will brings nothing but heartbreak and pain. We often call it a lesson to feel good about our errors.
1. Love is a feeling
Many of us grew up to believe the way we feel about a person defines what love is. That butterfly, the anxiety about a person and the heart skipping a beat at the thought of that special person all defines what love is to us. You may ask, what then is love? Love is a choice. It is a decision to commit to someone. If love was a feeling, then I dare to say, the love will end immediately the feelings end. Or can you argue that the tingling feeling you feel will be there every second of your life?
2. Sexual intimacy is the hallmark of love
This is another myth about love. If you have ever had to prove your love with physical intimacy, then you are proving every other thing except love. Without mincing word, every form of sexual intimacy you engage in outside the confines of marriage is a sin against God. God’s kind of love is patient even in this regard. The truth about love, God’s kind of love is that it is pure! It is safe to say any form of intimacy without commitment (marriage) is a fraud.
3. Love will always complete you
This is a bit controversial, you might think. I actually don’t think it is. Love could compliment you always but it does not necessarily complete you. Many make the mistake of believing once you find a partner you love, then every part of you becomes complete. You owe yourself to attain a level of growth that needs compliments and not completion before you can love in the actual sense.
4. Love comes in different shades
It is what it is! Love is simply love! Love is kind, true, patient, holds no grudge, not proud, not selfish… these are the characteristics of God’s kind of love. The one He expects you to give and receive. Now, if you think love must be painful, deny you of valuable relationships with others, full of fights and drama, domineering or oppressive then you are yet to understand love in its true form.
To be sincere with you as I conclude this piece, it hurts a bit I have to end here. This list is not exhaustive. I have only tried to put out the most common myths about love. I have dispelled these myths with the true characteristics of love according to God’s plan.
Maybe I will do another piece on Love and dating. I think we would be able to put these myths and truths in a more robust perspective relatable to us.
Did you enjoy reading this post? Would you love to read more myths and truths about love? Let me know in the comment section.
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